Fear or Passion?

Going into this new year, I contemplate the past and wonder about the future. life is really all about choices (what an epiphany, ivy! Duh! i've probably said this to myself a zillion times, yet continually lose the directness of it).

God instilled in us free will and that which leads to choosing Him or not, and everything after that choice is or should be based upon that decision. Yet, I see in myself and in the world today, a confusion/a "limbo-land" we live in. If I would be steadfast in my decision in Christ, the choices that come to me in life would be made more simply. But i live in a confusion of what to do because I have not completely surrendered to Him and made a determination to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone. I don't know if i even know how to be that with anything...doubt and devil's advocate and "it's greener over there" are persistently lurching on my shoulder whispering sweet nothings to me.

This all comes to me at a time that is Oh So familiar to me...the "Year & a Half Itch". and now it just happens to fall also at the beginning of a new year, so i've got a double Whammy! on my conscience. once again I am faced with a decision to be stuck in Fear or live on with Passion! Oswald Chambers reminds me "to be My Utmost for His Highest".

so is Fear my Utmost?? Really?? if I listen to the pitchfork lurching on my shoulder, it is; BUT, the Grandest decision I ever made and will ever make, is TRULY the ONLY thing I need to listen to and follow.